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Feb 17, 2013

Whatcha Talking About, Peter? (Part 13)

Passage: 1 Peter 3:1-6

Preacher: Tim Badal

Series:Strangers in a Strange Land

Detail:

I’m going to ask you to turn in your Bibles to 1 Peter 3:1-6.  We’ll be continuing our process of going verse by verse through the Book of 1 Peter.  Let’s look at this text together:

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.  And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 

As we open God’s Word today and I deal with the subject matter at hand, a 1980s sitcom comes to mind.  How many of you remember the sitcom “Different Strokes”?  It aired in the early to mid-‘80s and was a comedy show about the life of two African-American kids from the Harlem neighborhood of New York.  They lived in poverty with their Mom and Dad until their parents died and they became orphans.  They were all alone in a bad neighborhood with nobody to look out for them when along came an older white gentleman—Mr. Drummond—a millionaire who lived on Park Avenue.  The two boys were Arnold and Willis.  They were connected to Mr. Drummond because their mother had been the housekeeper in his mansion on Park Avenue.  Mr. Drummond knew of their plight, took them in and took them from poverty to a life of luxury.  The comedy of the show is watching two inner-city kids going from poverty to luxury and all the fun that comes with raising two kids.

The boy who stole the show was little Arnold.  How many of you remember little Arnold Drummond?  He was a cute kid played by the late Gary Coleman.  His mannerisms and way with things was quite amazing.  He was as cute as could be.  It seemed like every show had a line for him that would bring great laughter.  It usually came when Arnold heard—usually from his older brother Willis—something seemingly outrageous or totally nonsensical.  Arnold would look at him with those chubby little cheeks and ask, “Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”  He was basically saying, “I don’t get it.  It doesn’t compute.  It doesn’t make sense.  I don’t like what you’re saying.  I don’t like the implications that are there.” 

Well I’m going to tell you today as we read this text, a lot of people will ask, “Whatcha you talkin’ ’bout, Peter?  It doesn’t make sense.  Wives submitting to their husbands—are you kidding me Peter?  You’ve got to be wrong.  Something isn’t right.  This doesn’t make sense.”  If Peter would have known that people would be reading his letter 2,000 years after he wrote it in the first century, would he have recognized that today’s women are liberated?  They’ve been empowered!  Would Peter have realized that his words would be null and void for us today? 

We tend to think this idea of wives submitting to husbands is not for today.  We have to be careful because our culture says that Peter’s words are totally out of bounds.  I mean, why in the world would we listen?  I’m going to address this to the ladies.  Wives, why would you listen to a Galilean fisherman who lived 2,000 years ago?  Why in the world would you listen to him about the foundational life and lifestyle of a woman in the 21st century? 

Yet according to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, these words are exactly what the wives of the 21st century need to hear.  They need to hear it because these are the words of God.  Let us never forget: no matter how out of date God’s words may seem, they are always right and good.  He blesses submission to His Word.

 1.  Examining the American Culture

So we come to a text where many women and wives—with every fiber of their beings—are saying, “Whatcha talkin’ about, Peter?”  Why would they ask that?  I want you to notice we have that kind of response when we are examining the American culture.

I love being an American.  I love what makes this country and culture great.  It’s outstanding to be part of a country that has so many people from so many different lands.  But the thing I love about this country is that we do not separate the rights of men and women.  Both men and women have rights under the law.  In our society, women have rights and opportunities.  Praise God that our daughters and the women in our lives can go to school, vote and have all the privileges that are given to men—rightly so.  I’m glad we have women who can use their gifts in all areas of life: industry, arts, politics and service.  There’s been no greater proponent of this mindset in the United States than that of the Scriptures.  From the beginning, the Bible said, “…male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).  He didn’t create them for one to rule over the other, but for them to be partners in marriage.  Because of that, the Bible has always been a fan of women using their gifts and using them for the glory of God.

Yet amidst all of this American advancement, about a generation ago the feminist movement began to go astray.  It only takes us a couple minutes of watching TV, or reading magazines and books to see that our culture has lost its way.  What culture is telling us is “true feminism” is not true at all.

A couple weeks ago, the Super Bowl took place.  It was a Hallmark day for women.  I don’t know if you knew that or not.  A woman didn’t play in the game but the halftime show was led by Beyoncé and all the other performers—dozens of them—were women.  It was hailed as “another great step in the life of womanhood.”  Here is the problem: if that performance is indicative of the culture’s definition of womanhood, then the Bible is either right or wrong because it seems that performance goes totally against what Peter is talking about.  Our culture says women should pursue…

  • the sultry over the spiritual
  • power over piety
  • choice over compassion
  • fashion over faith
  • self-advancement in marriage over submission 

Here’s the thing: if you were to take the biblical model of what I’m going to present now and share it in your workplace or neighborhood, it would probably provoke the most vitriol responses.  You would be called things like a Neanderthal or a chauvinist.  You would be told you live in the Stone Age and are hampering the work of women in our world today.

It’s one thing for people outside the body of Christ to believe that way.  I can assure you that if we went and rallied a bunch of people from the local grocery store to come and listen to my message on this subject, they would collect as much produce as possible to come and try to silence me.  The words they would hear would bring them great dismay.  They would be angered by what I am going to say.  Here’s the rub—it’s not just the outside world who struggles with this.  Even within the body of Christ, many struggle with this idea of submission.  Because I am more concerned with how the body of Christ deals with things, that is where I’m going to focus today.  I’m thankful for Peter and how through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, He has given women—and my wife especially—an opportunity to hear what God calls holy living for women.

Now men, if you think you’re getting off easy, verse seven is coming.  We’ll deal with that in the next couple of weeks, so don’t think you’re getting away scot-free.  There is going to be great application for us men in this passage as well.  I always want to be very sensitive to things like the subject of women and submission.  I was talking to Amanda about it and she said, “Let us have it.  We’re strong; we’re women.  We can take it!”  So I’ll try to do the best I can.

2.  Submitting to Your Own Husband’s Authority

The first thing we see in our text is that if wives want to pursue holiness, it involves first submitting to “your own husbands” (1 Peter 3:1).  That is of great importance.  That word “own” is an important one.  You are not to submit to men, per se.  You don’t need to submit to just any man that comes along.  Peter is saying that within the family dynamic, you are to submit to one man alone—your husband.  Also, it is your own husband, not someone else’s husband.  Peter is talking about the marriage relationship.

Peter brings this up because God rules His created world in order.  I’m glad Peter outlined this as he has in his letter: 

  • He started in 2:13 with how we are to be subject to every human institution.  He reminds us that we are all subject to somebody. 
  • Then he goes on and says, “Let’s start with the biggest governing authority—government.  We are all subject to the laws of the land.  We are all subject to those who are in authority over us.” 
  • Then he goes on to the workplace.  He talks about the relationship between the slave and the master and says slaves are to be subject to their masters.  We talked about that and how we are to be subject to our employers. 
  • Now he comes into the family sphere and says, “If the family is going to bring glory and honor to God and have an order to it, then someone needs to take the lead.”  Just as the government takes the lead for a nation and an employer takes the lead for a company, so a husband and father needs to take the lead and have authority in the home.

Now we’re going to explain what this means but let’s understand what it does not mean.  Notice that Peter starts our passage with the word “likewise” (homoiōs) or “in the same manner.”  What does he mean by that?  “Peter, what are you saying?  Do you mean that a wife is a slave to her husband who is her master?  Do you mean she is a subject in the dictatorship of her husband’s reign?”  Absolutely not.  When wives are called to submit, Peter is saying, “I want you to submit in the same way and with the same spirit.”  That means a wife’s submission is to be voluntary—not demanded.  Notice this: it never says in the Scriptures that a husband’s job is to tell his wife to submit.  Men, that means, “Keep your mouth shut.  That’s not your job.”  This is between God and His daughters.  God is saying to His daughters, “You are to be subject and submit yourselves voluntarily.”

How are wives to submit?  This submission should look like Christ.  Just as Christ voluntarily laid down His life as the sacrifice for His Father in Heaven, so your submission is to be a voluntary thing.  God didn’t drag Jesus kicking and screaming to the cross.  Jesus said, “I willfully submit Myself to the will of the Father” (Mark 14:36).  So we see the spirit behind this idea of submission is a life that follows Christ.

We recognize another thing.  In each of these submission scenarios—submitting to the governing authorities, to your employers and in Christ submitting to the Father—there is a real authority.  I want to make this abundantly clear, ladies.  For whatever reason—you can ask God why when you get to Heaven—God has said since the foundation of the world that the head of every wife is her husband.  It is clear in Scripture.  So we need to understand that the husband is the leader in the home and he will one day be held accountable for that.  Husbands, listen to this: you will one day be held accountable as to how you lead your wife and how you lead your family.  God will take care of everything on that great and glorious day.

Now some of you who know the Scriptures might bring up a passage like Ephesians 5:21.  Turn in your Bibles for a moment and let’s hammer away at this because I know some of you are saying, “Tim, you’re being a little too legalistic here.  Peter isn’t meaning what he’s saying so let’s listen to Paul.  Let’s see what Paul says.”  In Ephesians 5:21, Paul says this, “…submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  You might say, “That means there is nobody who leads the home, right?  It just means the wife can do it one day and the husband can do it another day.  You’re just to submit to one another.  There’s no headship in the home and if there is, anybody can take it.  We are just to submit to each other.”

Now there is some truth to this within the marriage relationship.  We see mutual submission in the marriage relationship according to 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 where Paul speaks about the sexual relationship between a husband and wife.  He says the wife’s body is not hers alone but it is also the husband’s.  The men say, “Amen!  That’s good!”  But notice men that your body is not your own and you cannot withhold conjugal rights from your wife.  Your body is hers as well.  Within the marriage bed relationship, there is submission.  One body is not his or her own but it’s also someone else’s.  So we see that this movement of society telling us women can say, “This is my body,” without involving the husband is totally against what Scripture says.  Likewise, no husband can say that of his body to his wife.  There is mutual submission.  But when it comes to the headship or leadership of the family, the Bible is abundantly clear that every family is to have a husband who is called by God Himself to lead His family.  As a result of that, his wife is to submit and follow his lead.

Now you might say, “Wait a minute.  What about submitting to one another?”  Let’s take that principle from Ephesians 5:21 and work through it.  If that is the case, then Paul is saying this whole idea of headship and authority is now out the window even though God established this in the creative order in Genesis.  Now Paul is getting rid of it.  He’s dismantling it by saying, “Wives do whatever you want.  Husbands do whatever you want.”  No matter how much they might want to, nobody can make this passage say that.  Paul goes on in Ephesians 5:22-24 to say, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”  If Christ is the head of the church but we’re to submit mutually to one another, then that would mean the church is to submit to Christ and Christ is to submit to the church.  That doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Let’s keep going.  If you don’t think that is clear enough, look at Ephesians 6:1.  That would mean children are to submit to their parents but parents then are also to submit to their children—God forbid!  Is anybody going to argue with me that parents are supposed to submit to their kids?  This is not what Paul is saying.  Paul is articulating that there is order.  There is order because God knows human beings need order to live life.  If there’s not order, then there’s chaos.  So we see that the man is to lead and the woman is to follow.

This submission is seen in the Godhead.  What does this submission look like?  The best way I can understand it is an illustration we are given by Paul.  Turn in your Bibles for a moment to 1 Corinthians 11:3.  We’ll get back to 1 Peter in a moment but we need to set the table for this.  You might say, “But Tim, I’m equal with my husband.  I’m just as smart as my husband.  I can lead just as well as my husband.”  All of that could be absolutely true, but here’s how we understand submission.  Paul says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”  Men, who are you subject to?  Jesus Christ.  He’s your Boss.  Some of you are being lousy employees to your Boss right now.  We’ll get to that in a moment.  “The head of a wife is her husband.”  You might say, “Okay, I’m struggling with that a little bit.”  Notice though that the head of Christ is God.  “Wait a minute!  Isn’t Jesus God?  Isn’t He equal with the Father?”  Yes, He’s equal.  Was there a time when God the Father existed and Jesus didn’t exist?  No.  Do they have the same power and intellect and work together in all things?  Yes.  Is God the Father greater than God the Son?  No, but God the Son submits to God the Father.

Wives, this issue of submission does not speak to your intellectual, spiritual, physical or emotional abilities.  It says that in the sight of God, men and women are equal.  They are equal.  We have women who blow some men out of the water—maybe many men—in the tasks and jobs they do.  But in the family, it is different.  Just as Christ Who is equal to the Father submits to the Father—in function, not in being or essence so that the Trinity can deal responsibly and orderly with the created world—so the wife is to submit to the husband.  So we see this authority and submission clearly in the Godhead.

This submission is to be shown toward godly husbands.  Peter goes on and says, “Alright, now we have this submission thing down.”  He says in verse one, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word…”  Let’s stop there and understand that Peter is separating some things.  Submission needs to happen amidst godly husbands.  Notice Peter is saying you could be a good or bad husband.  I want to tell you something.  If you as a husband are making your wife’s job of submitting difficult, then it’s your problem.  It is not your wife’s problem.  If you are not leading your wife and children as Christ has led and loved the church, then you are sinning against them.  If you think Peter is saying because you’re the leader then whatever you say goes and you get to pick what you’re going to do without any regard for what your family thinks, then you have another think coming.  You need to get your head out of the sand and start understanding what Scripture says.

The Bible tells us the church is to submit to Christ, the leader of the church.  What did Christ do?  He gave Himself up for her so that by laying His life down, she might be lifted up.  Christ went to the cross so you and I might be lifted up.  A godly husband is one who lays down his life for his wife so she can be lifted up.  In the Badal home, Amanda is a queen.  My boys know—my son learned this recently—that you don’t smart off to the queen.  Amanda is lifted up because behind every good queen is a bigger, meaner king.

So you might ask, “How does that play itself out?”  Here is the best way to illustrate it.  The godly husband does his best to play the melody of Christ’s tune in the family.  The wife’s job is to play the harmony.  Part of the problem is that many of you men are not playing the melody of Christ’s tune in your family.  Your wife is trying to pick it up and is doing her best to make you look a little better because you are—quite frankly—lazy.  One of the epidemics in the church is lazy manhood—husbands not taking the spiritual role to which we are called.  My job is to make Amanda’s life of submission very easy to do.  She needs to see that it’s easy to submit—not because I make all the right decisions or because I’m perfect.  I’m not even close to perfect!  It should be easy for her because I think of her needs.  Ephesians 5:28-29 reminds me to care for my wife as I care for my own body, to feed her and care for her as I feed and care for myself and to love her as I love myself.  Paul says, “For no one ever hated his own flesh.”  So why in the world would I neglect my wife?  A godly husband is one who puts his wife on a pedestal, ministering to her as joint heirs of the grace we have received, as we will learn later (1 Peter 3:7).

This submission is to be shown towards godless husbands.  Now Peter goes on and says, “Okay, we’ve got the godly husband down.  Men, pursue that.  If you don’t, understand you will be held accountable.”  Notice that he also says to submit to the godless husband.  In verse one he says, “…so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.”  Just as with corrupt governments and crooked employers, Peter’s word to Christian wives is completely consistent, “Submit, even to bad husbands.”  The phrase “do not obey the word” (apeitheō) speaks of a husband who isn’t neutral to the things of God but rather is actively pursuing a life of disobedience and rebellion against God’s standards for living.  Peter is saying it doesn’t matter how difficult it is.  Even if your husbands are beyond just faltering in their attempts to be godly husbands, don’t care about being godly husbands and hate the very mention of Christ and Christianity, it is still your job to submit.  Wives, you are to submit even though your husband is living contrary to the commands of God.

Now some of you may say right away, “When can I not submit?”  We’ve asked this question each time and the answer is consistent.  The Bible reminds us over and over again—whether it’s with governing authorities, bosses or husbands—you do not have to submit to that authority if he’s asking you to go against God’s Word in order to follow his will.  If your husband tells you to do something you know is contrary to God’s Word, you are to respectfully and humbly say, “I’m sorry but I can’t do it.”

We live in a world of sin and there are terrible men and husbands in the world so I would be remiss not to speak about the issue of abuse.  I will tell you this: if your husband is abusing you or your children—or if he is threatening to abuse you—get out of the house.  Call the police.  Let the governing authorities deal with him.  Before you go back into that home, seek godly wisdom about what the parameters should be.  If a husband abuses his wife, he should spend some time in jail.  That’s out of place.  We’re not to be abusing women—not in the least.  If that’s going on, seek the wisdom and counsel of godly people to know when it is appropriate to flee a bad situation.

But in all other situations, I want to get rid of all the straw men—and for this sermon, straw women.  In all other situations, your job is to submit.  In situations when you can’t, humbly ask God for wisdom and guidance about how to not submit to your husband.

3.  Adopting the Proper Attitude

Submitting also involves adopting the proper attitude.  How do we do that?  Look at 1 Peter 3:1-2.

The proper attitude involves the proper role.  In verses one and two, Peter uses the word “conduct” (anastrophē) which could also be translated “way of life” or “pattern of life.”  It must be his favorite word because he uses it more than any other word in his entire letter.  He says our conduct is to be holy.  Notice what he says in verse five, “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves.”  So what is your role, ladies?  Your role is to be godly and holy women.  What comes before pleasing your husband?  The number one thing in your life should be pleasing God.  Men, the best way for your wives to serve and submit to you is by serving and submitting to their God first.  Women, you need to understand the same thing men need to understand—men and women need to seek God first.  When wives seek the vertical relationship with God, the horizontal relationship with their husbands will be a whole lot easier.  Even in seasons when you may find yourself under unjust suffering, look to God.  The holy woman looks to Jesus and sees that He was willing to entrust Himself to the God Who judges justly.

The proper attitude involves the proper respect.  As the harmony player in the great symphony called marriage, sometimes your role is to duck so God can hit your husband.  Your job isn’t to hit him—physically, metaphorically or figuratively.  Your job is to get out of God’s way so He can deal with your husband.  How do you do that?  You live your life with your husband with proper respect.  Notice what Peter says in verse two, “…when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”  It involves respect.  The word “respectful” is the Greek word phobos.  We’ve heard about this word already.  It’s where we get our word phobia.  It means fear—but it doesn’t mean “scared to death” fear.  We see in verse six that wives “…do not fear anything that is frightening” if they do what is good.  Peter is reminding wives, “Submit to your husbands.  Do your best to live a godly and wholesome life before them.  When you do that, you will please God and there is a good chance you will please your husband.”  It’s not a guarantee but it’s a truism.  As you serve God well by faithfully listening to His commands, heeding His call and respectfully serving your husband, there’s a good chance the outcome will be different. 

The proper attitude can lead to redemption.  Notice what verse one says.  The proper attitude may lead to instances of redemption.  Your husband “may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.”  Peter seems to be telling women who are in difficult situations in their marriages that they might win their husbands to Christ—not by being Billy Graham the evangelist—but by quietly and submissively living out their lives before their husbands.  Wives, let me explain to you how you can win your husband, whether he’s a believer or a nonbeliever.  You do so not through his ears but through his eyes.  You don’t do it by telling him what you believe but by showing how you behave.

My wife has taught me more than I ever would have thought possible in our 15 years of marriage.  Not because of what she’s said; she’s a pretty quiet lady—at least in public.  She has done a far greater job of teaching me things I never would have known about God and the way to live the Christian life just by how she conducts herself as I observe.  Peter’s not making a guarantee, but he’s saying a husband can be won “without a word.”  Wives, you have a huge opportunity to change your husband for Christ’s sake without a word by living a life of respect and a conduct that is pure.

4.  Being Attractive in the Sight of God

How do we do that?  Ladies, you do it by being attractive in the sight of God.  Verses three and four deal with the adorning issue, “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.”  Then Peter speaks of Sarah and how she called her husband Abraham “master” (Genesis 18:12).  She says that under her breath.  She doesn’t go around saying, “Oh, Master!  Whatever you want, Master!”  That’s not a “biblical wife.”  I don’t think Amanda’s ever called me Master.  The passage is speaking about how she was following the lead of her husband.  “He’s my man.  He’s my guy.  If he says that’s what God said to him and it doesn’t go against what I understand about God, then I’m going with my man.  Abraham is it.” 

Do you know what this passage is about?  It’s when the strangers came to Abraham’s tent and told him the next year Sarah would have a baby.  They said this about a 100-year-old man and a 90-year-old woman.  When Abraham said, “Hey Honey, we need to go spend some time together.  God says there’s a miracle baby coming,” she said, “Okay.  We’ll do it.”  That might be the wrong way to put it but you get the picture.

So what did Sarah do?  She followed the lead of her husband.  In doing so—without anybody hearing anything—she called her husband “master.”  That’s beautiful and right.  What does being attractive mean in our culture amidst the women’s liberation and empowerment movement?  Our culture tells us a woman’s beauty is only skin-deep.  But sisters, the Bible reminds us that kind of beauty is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30).  Peter is telling women that long after the youthful, vigorous look is gone, you are still beautiful.  Your husband can find you incredibly attractive—not only because of your outward splendor but because what really matters in a marriage is a woman who is beautiful on the inside.

Does that mean any attempt to try to do anything to make yourself look better is sinful?  No!  That’s not what Peter is saying.  If you take Peter’s words literally, then it means any clothing, jewelry or doing of the hair is sinful and external in its adornment.  But the Book of Song of Solomon reminds us of the care a wife takes to look attractive and good for her sake and her husband’s sake.  So we don’t need to take these verses in a strict literal way.  How do wives follow what these verses say about attractiveness in the eyes of your husband and the eyes of God?

This attractiveness is not so much about style as it is spirit.  Style is important.  I’m glad my wife dresses in a stylish way.  But it’s more about spirit.  I’m glad I’m married to a woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

This attractiveness is not about opulence, but obedience.

After being named the most beautiful woman of the year, according to People Magazine Halle Berry spoke these words in an interview,

 “Being thought of as attractive has spared me nothing in life.  It has spared me no heartache, no trouble.  Love (if you believe it or not) has been incredibly difficult for me to find.  And if you want my opinion on beauty, it is the following.  Beauty is essentially meaningless and worthless because it is always transitory.”  I don’t “Amen” Halle Berry very often, but I’ll “Amen” that.  She’s saying, “Hey, you say that I’m the most beautiful woman in all the world?  Let me tell you something: it’s meaningless.  What does it matter?  It hasn’t helped me find love.  It hasn’t helped me with heartache or troubles.  It doesn’t help me.” 

The Bible tells us that what helps a woman in heartaches and troubles—whether they’re 18 or 85—is a heart that is given over to God.  A Christian woman is to pursue more than just outward beauty, an amazing wardrobe and accessories.  Above all of that—no matter if she is young, middle-aged or a senior—she is to pursue a humble heart that longs to honor God and serve Him faithfully.

What does that mean for you, ladies?  That means you should ask yourself if you are spending more time preparing your hair than preparing your heart.  If so, then you are disobeying the words Peter shares.  It means a dress doesn’t make you.  Rather, great gain is found in an ongoing dependence on your God Who has called you to live with a quiet, submissive spirit to your husband.  Let us teach our daughters this principle when they think they have to follow the entrapments of this world.  Let us teach our sons this principle when the world is telling them to find women who have been Photo-shopped and airbrushed.  Let us teach the women of our church that greatness comes from pursuing Christ, not a number on a scale.  I implore the older women of this church to teach the younger women what it means to be  godly wives and mothers (Titus 2:3-5).  Husbands, I remind you to bring out the best in your wife.  You’re called to love her.

I want to close with a statement and then we’ll pray.  I want to cover all my bases with this statement from Pastor Alistair Begg,

“Peter is not implying the inferiority of women to men.  The submission he calls for does not negate the spiritual equality of husband and wife but rather is a submission of function.  Every team must have a captain.  This includes the Godhead.  Therefore everyone must have a head and God says that responsibility falls squarely on the shoulders of the husband.  Therefore the characteristics most desirable in a good wife are a gentle and quiet spirit while she responds with grace to the responsible decisions of her husband.  Instead of being tyrannized by the aging process and being captivated by the changing fashions of our day, a biblical woman and wife is one that focuses on that which God prizes most and which produces praise and glory for Him alone.  These verses are a call to all wives both present and future.  We should do all we can to help the women of our church see this as right and good in the sight of God.”

I would be remiss not to say that I am incredibly thankful and indebted to God that He has given me a wife who lives this out.  I don’t say this to prop my wife up but she is a wonderful partner.  I don’t say that very often publicly so I share it now with you.  I thank our God in Heaven for a woman like Amanda.  Husbands, I pray that you would do all you can to bring out the best in your wives.  Wives, do your best to bring out the best that God has for you as well. 

Let’s pray.

Father God, we have a difficult text in front of us today but I pray that we would submit ourselves under Your Word.  I pray Your grace on Your people as we work through these things.  Give us the grace to know where to apply these things.  Help us know where to give grace and where to hold each other accountable.  Lord, I pray we would look to our own lives first—that husbands would look at their lives, wives would look at theirs and we would all do some real business with You.  I pray we would check the log in our eyes before we look at the speck in our brother or sister’s eyes.  In doing so, I pray that You would be seen as glorious.  Even though the way we live might be odd to the people of this world, I pray that they might see a people who serve their God well and serve their spouses well.  I pray the world would see families that are united and serving You together for the sake of the gospel.  Lord, give us the strength we need.  Empower us by Your Spirit to do so.  It’s a tall order for husbands and a tall order for wives, so we ask for Your abilities and Your gifting to make it a reality.  Now lead us from this place a changed people because we’ve come face to face with Your Word.  We pray that in this next week we might be able to live differently as a result of Your Word.  In Christ’s name we pray.  Amen.